Under Water

I don't know how many of you have experienced depression, but it's not fun. For those of you who don't want to know deep things about me, stop reading now. Maybe I shouldn't share this, but I feel like I need to get it out, like I need to know if this is how it is for others who are at least relatively normal.

For me, I just sometimes fall into depression for no solid reason. In those situations it's almost like being pulled gently under water. The process of going under takes a day or two. When I start to go under, I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job at work, then I hear Christopher laugh or Reilly gives me a big hug and I bob back up above water for a little while, feeling ok again and knowing logically that I'm doing no less than I was the day before. Then I go under again, and start feeling like I'm not a good mom, like the boys deserve better. I come back up, but this time, I feel disconnected from the rest of the world; I feel a bit light-headed but my body feels heavy, like life has drained out of me. That feeling stays with me during the rest of the depression, which lasts a couple days or so. I still know that this is just a depression, that nothing is really different, that I will feel my normal self in a couple days, but I don't know how to get myself out of it. I've tried getting out of the house, doing something physical, getting things done around the house, but all I really want to do is sleep until it's over.

It's almost like an out-of-body experience, though not so pleasant or enlightening.

If you go through the same thing, I hope you at least know when you're going through it that it will go away.

Vote for Christopher in the Gap 2010 Casting Call

How can you resist this gorgeous boy? You can't!

Vote every day. The Casting Call judges will be watching throughout the entry phase to see which little superstars rise to the top.

Vote for Christopher!

Comcast Support Chat

What is up with these people? Excerpt from Comcast Support chat:

Comcast: I want to apologize for putting you through this. I understand that a situation like this can be aggravating, and I hear that you're frustrated.
Me: I just want to get this fixed.
Comcast: I hope that we can get past this, and we can improve your opinion of us. We know how valuable your time is, and we respect that.
Me: So long as we get things taken care of, I'm totally fine.
Comcast: I know that this was difficult. We hope you don't spiral into a deep, dark depression due to this incident. OK, we're going to send a signal to your cable box/modem. 

Don't Give a Bath to a Baby with Loose Stools

I figure you can tell by the title, but do not read this post if you have a weak stomach.

Yesterday I was done with work, we had a great dinner (yummy shrimp, tofu, and veggie stir fry), and it was time for a bath for the boys. We turned on the bubbles, and they were splashing and laughing, and climbing all over each other, and then I see something. Is that some bits of dried leaf? Wait, a piece of corn? "OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Reilly get out the tub, Christopher pooed!!!"

Reilly gets out, completed disgusted. I grab Christopher, turn on the shower, and put them both in there while I start cleaning out the tub. Ok, where do I start? Christopher's digestion was still a bit off from eating too many grapes, so it wasn't nice little clumps, though there were some pieces that were big enough not to make it down the drain. Yup, I had to fish it out with my hands. Then we get to cleaning the tub itself. That part was easy, just a Comet scrub finished with a good spray of Clorox Anywhere. Now we move on to the tub toys. I had to rinse all the "pieces" off them, then throw them in a bucket of water/Clorox. Ahh, all done.

NOT. Reilly yells, "Mom, it's in here too!" Yup, what kind of dummy leaves the poopy kid in the shower while cleaning up the mess. As much as you want to take care of it immediately, get the kid out of the shower and diapered up first. At least he gave me just enough time to clean the tub. So, I pull the boys out of the shower, wrap them in towels, and do the same Comet/Clorox Anywhere treatment to the shower. Then I hear the sound of water on carpet. That's right folks, I had not yet learned my lesson! Christopher peed on the carpet. Why the heck hadn't I put a diaper on him?! But it was just pee.

Finally got a diaper on Christopher, got PJs on the boys, got everything cleaned up, and got the boys to bed. Well-deserved drink in hand, I sat in my chair trying to clear my mind of the whole ordeal. This was not the end to my wonderful night that I was hoping for.

Christopher is Michigan J. Frog

Christopher says hi, bye-bye, ni-ni (night-night), aw-duh (all done), tree (his favorite thing), mama, dada. But he only says those things while he's alone with me in the car, or alone with me in the house, or alone with me at the store. What's up with that?! Mommy doesn't need any help looking crazy? "Christopher, are you ALL DONE?" "Honey, ALL DONE?" "Do you want more, or are you ALL DONE?" "ALL DONE?"

No kick-step yet, but he does do a frog jump.

Mid-Life Crisis?

Recently many things have been pointing me in the direction of changing things in my life. I feel like I don't know who Sarah is anymore. It's an odd feeling. Part of me wonders if I'm just having a mid-life crisis, but another part of me knows that everything happens for a reason and that I should listen to my instincts.

I've been looking into new things, but I've got to stop thinking so much about things and stop being scared or lazy and just DO them. I still don't feel like I've gotten to the breakthrough, but I think I'm getting closer. What I do know is that I don't want to be "average," but that's definitely what I've settled into...and it just has to STOP!

So, if I start sounding a little crazy, encourage me (to a point); after all, I do have a family to think about.

Hummus: The Multitasker

Not only is hummus a good source of protein, fiber, Omega-3s, and amino acids, it's also great for manicures, facials, and hair treatments...well, at least as far as Christopher is concerned. He loves to reach into a bowl of hummus, squish it between his fingers, then smear it all over his face and into his hair, and then it goes into his mouth. "Peace yo."

The hummus was one of the new receipes I've tried out recently, trying to keep our meals relatively cheap and really healthy (with a lot of lean protein and fiber) and to introduce new stuff to the kids. It's working out well...thanks to Vojn not being here for dinner most of the time (he's not so experiemental) and Reilly eating almost anything (except for asparagus tips). We've recently had quinoa with curry and raisins; chicken souvlaki with naan, hummus, cucumber, and tomato; and tonight I'm going to try to make my own veggie burgers (with carrots, zucchini, beets, kale, flax seed, walnuts, black sesame seeds, and some other stuff), or maybe we'll have pasta primavera with one of the quinoa pastas I got.

So, what have you wanted to try? Go do it! Don't wait! What if it's the best thing ever? What if it's not? Tell me what you end up doing...so I can feel like I inspired someone. :D